More News That's Unfit to Print

From Bing news - Mariah Carey likens 'American Idol' gig to working 'in hell every day with Satan'; I personally stopped watching American Idol last year because of Carey and that human cartoon character Nicki Minaj

From Yahoo news - Charles ready for pension, still in line for job he was born for;

Prince Charles plans to claim the government pension he qualifies for when he turns 65. Seems like Charles will be well into his "retirement years" before he even takes the throne. Meanwhile, Prince William sings with Taylor Swift and Jon Bon Jovi

From The Huffington Post - Vladimir Putin Earns 9th Degree Black Belt In Taekwondo, Because That's What Vladimir Putin Does; In a related story, Vladimir Putin threatens to kick the crap out of New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft if he ever brings up the “gifted” Super Bowl ring again …because that’s what Vladimir Putin does too

Also from Bing news - Eight Big Retailers Open Thanksgiving – In a continued attempt to strip away any sense of family or community left in this country, big retailers are pushing Black Friday deeper into the Thanksgiving holiday. It is also more like ten brands, seeing as how subsidiary companies are also mentioned. The following retailers are all going to open on Thanksgiving, some starting as early as 6:00PM: Walmart, Target, Best Buy, Sears (and Kmart, at 6:00AM!! Yikes! Desperate much??), Macy’s, Kohl’s, J.C. Penney, The Gap (with Old Navy store opening at 9:00am frecryinoutloud).

My guess is the list is not all inclusive – greed, more than anything, runs deep in America

From Bing news – McCain calls Kerry ‘a human wrecking ball’ on Iran negations – McCain has been quoted as saying Kerry is "a good friend of mine," but, when it comes to Iran, "this guy has been a human wrecking ball." Political insiders claim Kerry’s next move to be “twerking” with VP Biden at the White House Christmas party. Plans are also in the works to enter next years State of the Union address stark naked ….while swinging on a wrecking ball.

News From the Internets

From MSN - Atheist 'mega-churches' take root across US, world

File this under “I don’t believe” it:

On a recent Sunday, the inaugural Sunday Assembly in Los Angeles attracted more than 400 attendees. Not limited to LA, similar gatherings are taking place in other larger cities across the US. One of the strangest things, to me anyway, is that these gatherings have been dubbed "atheist mega-churches".

“Sunday Assembly — whose motto is Live Better, Help Often, Wonder More — taps into that universe of people who left their faith but now miss the community church provided, said Phil Zuckerman, a professor of secular studies at Pitzer College in Claremont.”

At the end of the, service (???), volunteers passed cardboard boxes for donations. Why not just call a collection plate a collection plate?

 

From Yahoo news - White House tech chief says 'making progress' fixing HealthCare.gov. Along the same vein; you really can (not!) keep your current health insurance plan, men really do mean it when they say “I’ll call you”, there really are “just two more minutes” in the game, she really will be “ready in five minutes” and women honestly think “size doesn’t matter”.

Also from Yahoo news - Bill Clinton Just Undercut Obama’s Health Plan. Former US President, Bill “The Great Explainer” Clinton, feels that the US Government should make good on President Obama’s promise that “Americans could keep their current health insurance plans if they like them”. Bravo President Clinton, it’s about time someone spoke up, because all Obama had to say about the latest let down in Obamacare was “I’m sorry”.

Are we really really sure Bill can’t be president again?

A Random Thought

Wow… so it’s been nearly two years since I posted anything on this blog. I was bored, crusin’ the internets and looking to be entertained. I started looking at some blogs I used to follow, the really good ones are still going strong, and somehow wound up …here.

In retrospect even calling what I was doing here a “blog” is insulting to those who do it and do it well.  I used this as a dumping ground for stuff I found funny, or at least mildly amusing. All in hopes of finding some way to make a few buck. I somehow allowed myself to believe the crap I read about people quitting there day jobs and making a living on the internet.

In the mean time, making a living got in the way. Work is work, keeping up with everything that goes on outside of work takes time and my grand idea of supplementing my income fell by the way side.

But, all things considered, maybe it’s time to revisit this whole blogging thing; As a place to deposit the odd things in daily life I find amusing. Or perhaps, as a form of therapy – to keep me from shouting obscenities out the car window. Maybe even as a creative outlet – or what passes as creativity in me anyway. I certainly don’t claim to be a writer, but at times, I can be amusing (or so I have been told). So if you have taken the time to read this, thank you! And remember to stop back. Hopefully I’ll give you a smile, or even a bit of a chuckle. Hell, I might make you laugh out loud someday!

ps… No promises that I won’t bitch about the price of oil …or Obama …or Obama care, such an easy, obvious target (ROTFLMAO) …or any thing that gets under my skin for that matter.

Things My Mother Taught Me

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION....

“Just wait `til you father gets home!”

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING….

“You are going to get it when we get home!”

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE…

“What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don’t talk back to me!”

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC…

“If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

5. My Mother taught me to FOLLOW THE RULES….

“When you move out you can do whatever you want, but while you’re living in this house, I make the rules.”

6.  My Mother taught me about STRENGTH and ENDURANCE… “I will lock the two of you in a room together and I won’t let you out until someone is bleeding.”

7. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE…

“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

8. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD…

“If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job.”

9. My Mother taught me HUMOR…

“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

10. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT…

“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

11. My Mother taught me about GENETICS…

“You’re just like your father.”

12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS…

“Do you think you were born in a barn?”

13. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE…

“When you get to be my age, you will understand.”

14. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE…

“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you….Then you’ll see what it’s like!”

15. My Mother taught me about ECONOMICS…

“Turn off that light. Do you think we own the electric company?”

And of course her famous last words as I was leaving were “Make sure you've got clean underwear on... what if you get in an accident??”

add to a bit, but found here

Home Page Links

Aussie football hates Meat Loaf… well, I’ve heard American football hates Curtis Stone

Regis takes off his shirt… American says “PUT IT BACK ON!!” …sheesh the moobs on him

Eruption spotted on Uranus… ummmm I wasn’t looking at your an… ohhhhh, the planet

That muffin didn't cost taxpayers $16 after all… The additional information showed that the muffins were actually part of a modified continental breakfast priced at $16.80 and consisting of items such as pastries, fruit, coffee, tea and juice….has the government ever heard of Panera Bread???

Michael Moore: Occupy movement "killed apathy"… but did it kill ignorance?? Hell if I know. In a side note…Big Macs will kill Michael Moore

Lindsay Lohan gets $1 million to pose nude for Playboy… ummm, ok. Will it be morbid curiosity that makes me ante up the eight bucks or so?? I mean how will she hide her SCRAM ankle bracelet??

Apple reveals it has a stunning cash reserve… $81,570,000,000… in cash. Apple then announces plans to buy Greece… Europe rejoices

Tyler: Fall not drug related... and pigs will fly ...and there will be an NBA season this year ...and ...

FAA clears sex  while sky diving… well now, there’s something to add to your bucket list

Canada changing symbol? … maple leaf to give way to a beer can

Big Banks Blink on New Card Fees… still plan to shaft the banking public by lowering interest rates on savings to an annual pop tart. The toaster will cost you $5 a month

Noteable Net News

Amy Winehouse dead at 27 – she joins the list of celebrities who died at the age of 27: Brian Jones, co-founder of the legendary rock group The Rolling Stones. 60’s era guitar god Jimi Hendrix – ‘Scues me while I kiss the sky! Another 60’s rocker, Janis Joplin, who strangely died two and a half weeks after Hendrix, gave the dead at 27 mythos additional notoriety. Jim Morrison, The Lizard King and front man for the Doors, died two years to the day after Brian Jones. Ron “Pigpen” McKernan, one of the founding members of the Grateful Dead died of a stomach hemorrhage at the age of 27. It’s thought that the hemorrhage was brought on by years of heavy drinking. Kurt Cobain, the troubled but musically gifted front man for the grunge group Nirvana ended his own life at the age of 27. Sadly, Amy Winehouse is the 17th musician who died at the age of 27

The end of the drawn out NFL lock out of its players may be close. The players will vote on the contract proposal on Monday. Who will win -  the billionaires or the millionaires? How ever it ends the sure losers in this drawn out battle will be the NFL’s fans. Now, if we could just figure out a way to lockout the Twatlight Twilight movie series the world would be a happier place I think…

With the space shuttle program coming to an end with the landing of the Shuttle Atlantis on July 21st, NASA has announced that their next grand mission will be to send astronauts to an asteroid in less than 15 years. It might be hard to do since they are laying off about 3200 contract workers. And, to add insult to injury, they are paying $60 million to the Russians each time we want to hitch a ride to the International Space Station. Who won the great space race of the 60’s??

Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner says the US economy may have slowed during the second quarter of the year. Ummm… no shit?? I mean really? Geithner says he is looking for it to pick back up. Yeah, him and millions of other Americans

Tea Party nutcase and GOP presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann recently signed a "values pledge," – she is promising to ban pornography. Bachmann is the only candidate to sign the pledge.  Ms. Bachmann has also signed pledges that promote marriage and social conservative values. Back in June, "Fox News Sunday" host Chris Wallace asked Bachmann whether she was "a flake." While I’m not a huge fan of Fox news, I think he may be on to something. Just last week, announcer for CBS’ Late Show With David Letterman, Alan Kalter, announced his own bid for the presidency on a pro-pornography platform. Hell, he’s less of a nutcase then Bachmann.

Steelers' Hines Ward arrested on DUI charge – Steeler’s wide receiver, former Super Bowl MVP and reigning "Dancing With the Stars" champ was booked in Georgia on a DUI charge. I guess that “Mirror Ball” trophy makes a man do crazy things…

Recission Quote

Recession means that people's incomes, at the employer level, are going down, basically, relative to costs, people are getting laid off.
    --George W. Bush

Washington, DC 02/19/2004 From the master of the non sequitur - good `ole Dubya himselfHe was in charge for 8 years yet the mess lingers...

Syrup for Your Pancakes?

Would you like some syrup with your pancakes??

 

After seeing this I might just stick to "maple flavored" syrup

We Were Born in the 50's and 60's

We Were Born in the 50’s and 60’s

We were born to mothers who smoked and drank and we slept in cribs that were probably covered in lead based paint.

We didn’t have Playstations or Xboxes or personal video game systems. We played – outside. Often, in the dirt, and, frequently with sticks. And, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes.

We played army and war, capture the flag and Cowboys and Indians – not “bovine control officers” and “Native Americans”

If we wanted to go somewhere, we rode our bikes; everywhere. We rode from one end of town to the other. Without silly looking helmets or spandex clothing, and, occasionally, with a buddy riding on the handle bars.

Not every kid made the team when they tried; there were no participation ribbons or trophies for 12^th place. If you won you it was great, if you lost, you went home. We got disappointed but that was alright. We learned to deal with losing and tried real hard to win the next time.

There wasn’t mineral water or bottled water or energy drinks. There was Coke and Pepsi. And when we were outside and got thirsty, we’d drink water from a garden hose.

A group of us kids would share a bottle of soda and a bag of chips. We ate bread and bitter and Ring-Dings and HoHos. We didn’t worry about childhood obesity because the next thing we did was run all over the neighborhood playing.

When we misbehaved we got swatted on the backside. The neighbors were always Mr. and Mrs. And, if you knew what was good for you, you minded them just like they were your own parents.

Being sent to your room WAS punishment...there was no TV, telephone, or loads of electronics in there, just you and the four walls. And the worst words you could hear were “just wait `til your father gets home”.

We didn’t have cell phones and pagers. We had street lights, and we damned well better be home before they came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K

There was no cable TV, no satellite. There was only one TV in the house and it was located in the living room – and YOU were often the remote. If we were lucky and did all of our chores and our home work, we’d get to watch cartoons on Saturday morning. We watched The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, Bugs Bunny, Magilla Gorilla, Road Runner and Wiley Coyote. Not surprisingly, none of us ever got hit in the head with a falling anvil or fell victim to a faulty Acme rocket.

 

We fell out of trees, got cut and broken bones and chipped teeth, and there were no lawsuits. They were accidents. We learned not to do the same thing again

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up or "way back" in the station wagon was always a treat.

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

And if you're one of them. Congratulations!

1960's Motivational Poster

Off-beat Holidays - July

 Just a side note before the list: This is my third month listing holidays (see June is here and May is here ) and I am beginning to notice there are a boatload of days devoted to food!! There are at least 9 days devoted to food and drink in the month of July alone. And people say we Americans have weight issues??? No kidding!

1: Canada Day – Or as Americans tend to refer to them; the quiet neighbors to the north. As the rest of the world tends to sees it; the quiet and peaceful folks living above a college frat kegger.

1: International Chicken Wing Day – Buffalo, NY’s contribution to the appetizer menu

1: Second Half of The Year Day – Half-way through the year. Here’s to a better half (I hope)

1: U.S. Postage Stamp Day and Zip Code Day - Maybe these are a partial explanation for the term "going postal"??

1-3: Rosewell UFO Days: - Maybe this should be take a Martian to lunch day

2: I Forgot Day – I had a pithy comment for this day, but, I can’t quiet remember what it was

2: International Cherry Pit Spitting Day

2: International Day of Cooperatives – A United Nation’s recognized observance. “Cooperatives around the world celebrate the International Day of Cooperatives in many ways. Activities include: messages from the International Cooperative Alliance (ICA) and the UN translated into local languages for worldwide distribution; news articles and radio programs publicizing the awareness of the day; fairs, exhibits, contes…” Yeah, now I know why I’ve never heard of it.

3: Compliment Your Mirror Day - If you do maybe your mirror will make your look like Bradley Cooper… or Shania Twain??

3: Stay Out Of The Sun Day – It’s July people, ain’t gonna happen!

4: Fourth of July or Independence Day - A day citizens of the United States celebrate by getting drunk and blowing shit up. Yeah!!

4: Independence From Meat Day – on a day celebrated by barbequing hot dogs and hamburgers?? REALLY???

4: Indivisible Day – Just imagine the possibilities… oh wait, I thought that said invisible... oh well

5: Earth at Aphelion

5: Bikini Day – YES!!!

6: Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day – I wonder who thought this up and what kind of sacrifices we should make gifts we should give to honor the overlords of the internet?

7: Chocolate Day – This just has to be a big day in Hershey PA

7: Father-Daughter Take A Walk Together Day

7: Tell The Truth Day – If you do this it's probably a good thing that the 7th is also Global Forgiveness Day

8: SCUD Day (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama) – Turn down the drama, turn up the comedy. The Three Stooges always make me laugh!

9: Rock And Roll Day – YEAH!!! ROCK ON!!! TURN IT UP!! Play some Aerosmith!

9: Bald In-Bald Out Day – we come into the world bald, naked and crying. I think I’m about half way to bald out…

9: Hop A Park Day - July is National Parks and Recreation Month. Visit a local or state park and see what’s going on in your area

10: Don't Step On A Bee Day – hell, this is EVERY day in my book.

10: Piña Colada Day – I’ll be busy this day. At the bar. Drinking a… well, you know

11:World Population Day - "Everyone Counts. Counting everyone is an integral part of ensuring that we take everyone into account…" Shut The Front Door! Sounds like government gobbledygook to me

11: International Town Criers Day – Hear Ye, Hear Ye!!

13: Embrace Your Geekness Day – Again, this is an everyday thing for me

13: Gruntled Workers Day – HA!! I love this! I’ve always known that unhappy workers could be called disgruntled, but, have often wondered if you could be called “gruntled” if you were happy! Cool! Now, on to disheveled and sheveled

15: Gummi Worm Day – yet another day celebrating the stuffing of one's face

16: Hot Dog Night and Hot Dog Night - a day for weiners everywhere. Wait, didn't he leave office?

16: Cow Appreciation Day – not if you’re making all beef frankfurters it ain’t

16: Toss Away the Could Haves and Should Haves Day – Well, I should have tossed out the could haves. And I could have, really, but, something told me I shouldn’t. So I didn’t, though I could have. Awww crap, my brain hurts!

16: Woodie Wagon Day – I saw woodie and got all excited. That was before I read the second word

17: National Ice Cream Day - (3rd Sunday) – I’ll take mint chocolate chip please

17: Wrong Way Corrigan Day – Wrong Way Corrigan was so infamous that the character Captain Peter “Wrong Way” Peachfuzz, the world's worst sailor was developed as a tribute of sorts in the old Rocky and Bullwinkle Show

18: National Get Out of the Doghouse Day – yeah, if only I could

18: Global Hug Your Kid Day – We need a day for this? Seriously??

19: Flitch Day - (Note: Some also say it's always the 3rd Saturday)

20 : National Lollipop Day - I'm not gonna say it...

21: Get to Know Your Customers Day - (also January 20, April 21 and October 20) – if this was done every day, maybe so many businesses wouldn’t fail. I’m just sayin’…

21: Legal Drinking Age Day -  21 – Ironic, no???

22: National Penuche Fudge Day – Please, don’t tell my wife

22: Rat-catchers Day

22: Spooners (Spoonerism) Day - Have you ever meant to say “this is the fun part” and had it come out “this is the pun fart”?? Or watched a butterfly flutter by??

23: Gorgeous Grandma Day – This one is just too easy, so, I’ll leave well enough alone

23: Hot Enough For Ya Day – Yeah, and I’ll choke the first SOB that says it too

24: Cousins Day – another one that’s far too easy and better left alone.

24: National Day of the Cowboy – A day to protect and preserve our Western Heritage. So, hide your copy of “Broke Back Mountain”

24: National Drive-Thru Day – Drive thru tellers, drive thru restaurants, drive thru pharmacies, drive thru liquor stores. We Americans have gotten so lazy we’d do a drive through wedding if it were possible (and I’m sure it is)

24: Tell An Old Joke Day - A priest, a rabbi, a nun and a minister walk ito a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Is this some kind of  freakin' joke??"

24: Coffee Day – French vanilla please, just cream

25: Carousel Day or Merry-Go-Round Day – go take a spin

24: Parents' Day - (4th Sunday) Call your parents if they are still with you.

25: Thread the Needle Day - Note: This is a traditional church game played in the Spring. It really can be played anytime

25: Act Like a Caveman Day – Grab a club; thump your potential mate on the head. Drag him or her back to your cave.

26: Take Your Dog to Work Day – Really???

27: National Korean War Veterans Armistice Day

27: Barbie-in-a-blender Day - I always wanted to do this to my sister's dolls... maybe today is the day!!

27: Take Your Houseplant for A Walk Day: – Seriously??

27: Walk on Stilts Day – with your houseplants – or your daughter. Go on, mash it up… be daring!!

28: National Milk Chocolate Day and National Chili Dog Day - Cool!! Dinner and dessert!

29: Lasagna Day - Who doesn't like a good lasagna? 
29: Rain Day - I'm curious; if it rains on Rain Day, is there a rain date??

29: Lumberjack Day – “I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay, I sleep all night and I work all day! I cut down trees. I wear high heels, Suspendies, and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, Just like my dear mamaw”  Bless “Monty Python’s” twisted mind

 

29: National Talk in An Elevator Day – Go ahead, freak someone out and say something!

29: System Administrator Appreciation Day - (Last Friday)

30: Cheesecake Day - New York style, with strawberries

30: Father-In-Law Day - I’ve been a father-in-law for years and have never heard of this one.

30: Paddle for Perthes Disease Awareness Day  - Always last Saturday

For Our Mother

Growing up, some would say that we did not have a lot.

And, while we ourselves may have thought we didn’t have everything we wanted,

our mother always made sure that we had everything we needed.

We never went hungry.

We always had shoes on our feet and a shirt on our back.

And, we never, ever felt unloved

Our mother faced her share of challenges.

Some would call then obstacles; others might say roadblocks.

I would prefer to call them opportunities.

An opportunity to over come

An opportunity to exceed everyone’s expectations

An opportunity to shine.

Our mother faced every opportunity straight on.

Yes, there was fear.

And from that fear she drew strength.

And, with that strength she could move mountains.

No matter how deep the canyon.

No matter how wide the river.

No matter how high the mountain.

We always knew that our mother would be there and we always knew that we would get through.

Every challenge was met with grace and humor,

With dignity and courage.

And with strength I could only wish to possess.

Thank you for coming tonight to honor our mother.

And while we may have lost friend, our advisor, our ear to talk to and shoulder to lean on - I know somewhere, somehow, she's watching out for us all.

Leslie J L  January 28, 1943 - June 10, 2011

I love you mom, rest in peace

Silly Signs

If only it were that easy!!

This could be hanging at my job, and possibly yours??

 

 

 

Another silly sign here

Still More Home Page Headlines

Weiner Opts for Treatment as New Self Portraits Emerge – It seems like Weiner’s weenie is popping up every where!! Hot dog!

In a related story - Weiner Defies Calls From Top Democrats to Resign –Weiner is instead seeking professional treatment and asking for a leave of absence from Congress. It seems like Rep. Anthony Weiner isn’t quite done embarrassing the Democratic Party quite yet. I think he’s addicted to being a douche bag.

Speaking of embarrassing the Democratic Party - Obama: Economic Recovery is 'going to take time'. I’ve got just three words: No Shit Sherlock

GOP Field Anything But Steady as New Hampshire Debate Nears – Why? Don’t they read the news? Or buy milk? Or gasoline??? What does GOP stand for nowadays? Goofy Old Pols??? Oh… right, they have Newt…

Sarah Palin Emails Show Discord Over Oil Tax – about 24,000 emails from former Governor Palin were released by the state of Alaska. When it comes to taxes they paint a picture that is not as anti-tax as her 2008 Vice Presidential run would lead us to believe. When it comes to Palin herself she comes off as one dimensional and single minded. Wow, what a surprise that is (not!!)

US Funds “shadow” Internet:  - NYT: Obama administration backs detour around censors; And no one will ever even know about it, unless you use the regular Internet I guess.

 

Father’s Day Gift He Actually Needs - Still not sure what to give Dad? Forget the tie! Five things he really wants this year: How about: A big ass TV, peace and quiet, the remote control, a beer and a…

MyPlate Replaces USDA Food Pyramid – The iconic food pyramid was replaced because it was deemed “to confusing”. MyPlate is much simpler: If YourFood is falling off of YourPlate – You're Eating Too Damned Much!!!

Regis Tries to Get a Brain Freeze - I though he had his brain removed and frozen years ago. I know if I had to deal with Kathy Lee and then Ripa daily I would

From the world of sports: Indians Plunk A-Rod After HR, Colon Hurt – What’d they do? Hit him with a pitch in the stomach?? While part of the story referenced Bartolo Colon’s injury, I think Excite might want to work with their headline writers. Or, not – it made me giggle

Charles Barkley and Dan Le Batard’s Disturbing Bet - It involves swimwear. And, it is too frightening to say anything more about

US Open Champ fears Tiger May be Done - Well, if Tiger could have be “done” with just a mistress or two, maybe people wouldn’t be saying he’s done now. And then headlines like “Woods Withdraws From Open” wouldn’t be canon fodder for stand up comics everywhere.  Leave your best Tiger Woods joke as a comment

If you rind this mildly amusing check out my earlier posts here and here

Don't Try This at Home

Off-beat Holidays - June

June's List of Off-Beat Holidays

1: Dare Day - Dare Day is a day to challenge someone, and to do a dare yourself. Go on, I double dog dare ya

1: National Go Barefoot Day - Summertime is here - let those tootsies hang out

2: National Bubba Day - Celebrating everything Bubba. Be the Bubba in your family tree!

2: Leave the Office Early Day - This must be a day to mark Steve Carell’s leaving the TV show "The Office" early. ...

3: National Doughnut Day - Always the first Friday in June National Doughnut Day honors the Salvation Army "Lassies" of WWI. Maybe my local Dunkin’ will hook me up

3: Repeat Day (I said "Repeat Day") - Rather than sound like, I said rather than sound like Foghorn Leghorn, I think I’ll just have another doughnut

4: Applesauce Cake Day- The first of many food centered days this month

4: Do-Dah Day - Camptown ladies sing this song, do-dah do-dah, Camptown race tack five miles long…just milking the Foghorn Leghorn bit a little longer

4: Hug Your Cat Day – good luck with that one!

5: World Environment Day - World Environment Day focuses attention on important environmental issues. The theme for 2011 is Forests-Nature At Your Service

6: D-Day  - commemorates June 6, 1944, when Allied troops landed on the beaches of Normandy during World War II

6: National Gardening Exercise Day - Get out and exercise with your plants.

6: National Yo-Yo Day - Get out your Yo-Yo and impress your friends, family, and co-workers with your Yo-Yo skills.

7: National Chocolate Ice Cream Day  - `nuff said!

8: Best Friends Day - Remember, George Carlin said it best, “you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose; but you can’t pick your friends nose!”

8: World Ocean Day

9: Donald Duck Day – More here than I ever wanted to know about the original, “The Donald”

10: Nursing Assistants Day - First day of National Nursing Assistants Week

10: Ball Point Pen Day – grab your Bic and make a note of it

11: Hug Holiday - This special day was created by the "Hugs for Health Foundation". So go on, grab someone… NO! Not that way!!!

11: Corn on the Cob Day – Do you eat your corn on the cob across… or around? Awww shucks, just grab yourself an ear…

11: The Belmont Stakes – The third and final leg of horse racing’s Triple Crown. There won’t be a Triple Crown winner this year either. Affirmed (February 21, 1975 – January 12, 2001) was the eleventh and most recent Triple Crown winner in 1978

12: Red Rose Day - Buy some roses for someone special. Or, plant some in your yard.

12: Crowed Nest Awareness Day - As more adult children return to live at home, yeah, stop right there. I can and will change the locks! Better yet, I’ll get me one of them new fangled electronic locks and that’ll stop ya!

13: Sewing Machine Day - Okay, whatever

14: Flag Day - Did you Know? If you like to study flags, then you are a Vexillologist!14:

World Blood Donor Day – Rather than drinking a pint, I’m going to give a pint that day. Just think about it, okay?

14: Nature Photography Day - Promotes nature photography as a unique art form that also contributes to the preservation of the environment. `Cuz people are so great about packing out their trash??

15: Smile Power Day - ehhhhhhh… bite me.

16: Fresh Veggies Day  - Well, given a choice I’d opt for Fudge Day. Ironic they fall on the same day!

17: National Flip Flop Day – started five years ago by a smoothie joint, encouraging people to kick off summer, and their shoes, by wearing a pair of flip flops

18: Go Fishing Day – You don’t have to tell me twice

18: International Panic Day - Wait, whoa!! How come no one told me about this… WTF??? I gotta get ready… I’ll never be ready

18: National Hollerin’ Contest Day –Spivey’s Corner, North Carolina hosts National Hollerin' Contest Day the third Saturday in June. It is estimated 5,000-10,000 people will show up to enjoy the annual National Hollerin’ Contest. Ain’t that something to shout about

18: National Splurge Day - Oh yeah!! I’m gonna go get me something!

18: World Jugglers Day - Saturday closest to June 17th. So grab a chainsaw, a flaming baton and a bowling ball and have some fun

19: Father's Day … AND

*Garfield the Cat Day
*Juneteenth
*World Sickle Cell Day
*World Sauntering Day - saunter on over and get daddy a beer, huh?
*Husband Caregiver Day
*Family Awareness Day
Couldn’t just let us dads have this one day, huh?

20: Ice Cream Soda Day - June sounds like a yummy month!

21: Finally Summer Day- Summer Solstice

21: Go Skate Day – “I got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key”

21: World Handshake Day Link 

22: National Chocolate Eclair Day - and the yumminess continues. Chocolate ice cream, éclairs, applesauce cake, ice cream sodas… I’m getting fat just thinking about it.

22: Stupid Guy Thing Day I think this one was totally made up. Sounds like a stupid thing a guy woul… err, never mind

23: National Columnists Day – Bloggers are like columnists, aren’t they?

23: Let It Go Day – just let it go man.
23: Public Service Day – and go out and do something good for someone else. Just because.

23: National Pink Day  - I’m confused here. Is it pink as in pinking shears or the color pink? Or, is it the singer P!nk?

24: Swim a Lap Day - `cuz you’re gonna need some way to work off the ice cream. And éclairs. And sodas. And fudge.

24: International Fairy Day - Celebrated around the world by those who love all things fairy. Mark your calendars & join in the magic! Fairy Day falls on June 24th each year Link
24: Take Your Dog To Work Day – Well, you take your kids (originally it was your daughter) to work. And, for some folks anyway, their dogs are like their kids. Unless you dog is more suited to… another celebration on the 24^th - Ugliest Dog Day

25: Great American Backyard Campout 

25: National Catfish Day - Sorry, that is just one ugly damned fish.

26: Beautician's Day

26: Log Cabin Day – In case you wanted to camp in.

26: Forgiveness Day - is a time to forgive and to be forgiven. Okay, so there was this guy, and he did this really stupid thing. Well, okay, that guy was me…

27: Sun Glasses Day – It is summer time after all!

27: Please Take My Children To Work Day - this tongue-in-cheek holiday is for Stay-at-Home-Moms who deserve a well-earned break.

28: Insurance Awareness Day - Now who do you think invented that!?!

28: Paul Bunyan Day

29: Camera Day  - Cameras are every where now; In your phone or your tablet. Lost cost point and shoots to high end digital SLRs. So go on, take a picture!

29: Waffle Iron Day – Leggo that Eggo and enjoy a waffle made the good ald fashioned way

30: Meteor Day - Imagine a baseball speeding along at 30,000 miles per hour with thousands of particles trailing along behind it...and it's traveling right towards you!

30: National Bomb Pop Day – Yet another tasty treat to close out the month of June. The Bomb Pop, invented in 1955 on Independence Avenue in Kansas City, MO, has roots in true Americana. This six-finned summertime treat is used to celebrate patriotism in conjunction with Fourth of July celebrations. As the anniversary of our country’s independence draws near, celebrate with America’s favorite red, white and blue novelty. Annually, the last Thursday of June

30: National Hand Shake Day - Link (Different sponsor than World Handshake Day)

The month of May and July is here

Royal Wedding vs. Cinderella

Did the Royal Wedding remind anyone of a certain classic Disney movie?

Coincidence?? I Think not...

Judgement Day

"It's the End of the World as We Know It" or so sang the rock band R.E.M., back in 1987.

According to Christian radio host Harold Camping, the End of the World is today, May 21, 2011. Doomsday is upon us. Since it is technically Saturday May 21 as I type this I wonder; will the world be here when I wake in the morning... or, will I even wake at all??? And now I wonder, will I even get to sleep tonight! Of course I will, I worked all night and I'm tired!

Mr. Camping's Doomsday theory has spread like wildfire. It's been nearly impossible to avoid it for the past week or so. The devout will be called to their father... and the rest of us are screwed. Fire and brimstone, Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria! (according to Bill Murray as Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters [Blu-ray]). Basically, the worst parts of the Bible come to life.

But then, wayyyyy back in 1999, everyone was worried about Y2K, so worried in fact that they came up with that cute little acronym. Planes were going to fall from the sky, ATM's were going to take all of your money, or spit it all out like a jackpot if you were lucky, computers would stop working and you wouldn't be able to heat a damned thing on your microwave. And yet, here we are.

American Baptist preacher William Miller predicted rapture would occur between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844. The Jehovah's Witnesses have set several dates in the past, Pastor John Hinkle predicted June 9, 1994 and Mr. Camping himself earlier predicted the End of Days on September 6, 1994.

And yet, here we are.


And don't forget the Mayans. We have been hearing how they predicted the end of the world on December 21, 2012 - the last day on their calendar. That prediction has become so irresistible that Hollywood just had to make a SFX laden movie starring John Cusack back in 2009. I have to wonder though, did the Mayans foresee their own end??

Hell, (whoops, maybe I shouldn't say that!) even Sir Isaac Newton proposed that the Apocalypse could happen no earlier than 2060.

So, I think I'll see you all tomorrow or the next day. If not, I hope to catch you on the other side!

Check It Out

I really enjoy this guy's blog. Maybe ` cuz he is a fellow New England-er, or, maybe it's just because he writes some funny stuff. Check out Beachbum's Daily Diverson .

Don't you just love motivational posters? I think this one says it all:

Arnold is still in the news. It seems he is putting his return to the movies on hold. If you can call playing the Terminators grandpa a return to the movies. Maybe he should just go into porn... as the "Sperminator". Ted Kennedy has got to be swilling gin and laughing his ass off, where ever he is.

Speaking of Ted Kennedy, when ever I here the words "Gin Blossoms" I don't think of the rock group or, "Found Out About You", I always think of Teddy's nose.

It's become common knowledge that Maria Shriver moved out of their home not long after "The Governator" broke the news of his love child.

I think Maria drew this on the note she left for Arnie, and no one would blame her if she did!

More Home Page Headlines

Donald Trump announces he won’t run for President in 2012. First Mike Huckabee says no, and now the Donald bows out. Obama can’t be that frightening. But Trumps hair is. And Huckabee is just a huckleberry… And Sarah Palin is, well just plain annoying. So that leaves "Eye of" Newt Gingrich?? Republicans, care to say Romney??

Disney trademarks "SEAL Team Six". Mickey and Pluto go to war? Really?? Is there anything Disney won't buy? They have Pooh, Marvel and now Navy Seals

Two Ohio boys were suspended for farting on the bus. Wow, that must have been some tooting worth tweeting about.

US hits debt limit, setting up 11 week fight. When someone hits the credit limit in this household, they’re just plain shut off. In every way imaginable…

War crimes prosecutors seek Gadhafi's arrest. "SEAL Team Six" should say screw you to the Mouse House and seek out Gadhafi next

Gas pump prices fall as oil dips below $98 a barrel. I obsess on this topic, as in here, I know

Ashton Kutcher replaces Charlie Sheen in “Two and a Half Men” and gets a million dollar an episode pay day. Ashton freating Kutcher?? All Jon Cryer had to say was “FML…”

“Top Gun” Stars Then and Now. Kelly McGillis came out as a lesbian and is currently working full-time with drug addicts and alcoholics at Seabrook House, a rehabilitation center. Tom Cruise has become a crazy, couch jumping cultist.

Schwarzenegger: I fathered a secret child. Ahhhh! That explains what happened earlier. Silly me, I thought Maria had just had enough of Arnold. Seems the household help got more than she bargained for though