Wednesday, November 27, 2013

More News That's Unfit to Print

From Bing news - Mariah Carey likens 'American Idol' gig to working 'in hell every day with Satan'; I personally stopped watching American Idol last year because of Carey and that human cartoon character Nicki Minaj

From Yahoo news - Charles ready for pension, still in line for job he was born for;
Prince Charles plans to claim the government pension he qualifies for when he turns 65. Seems like Charles will be well into his "retirement years" before he even takes the throne. Meanwhile, Prince William sings with Taylor Swift and Jon Bon Jovi

From The Huffington Post - Vladimir Putin Earns 9th Degree Black Belt In Taekwondo, Because That's What Vladimir Putin Does; In a related story, Vladimir Putin threatens to kick the crap out of New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft if he ever brings up the “gifted” Super Bowl ring again …because that’s what Vladimir Putin does too

Also from Bing news - Eight Big Retailers Open Thanksgiving – In a continued attempt to strip away any sense of family or community left in this country, big retailers are pushing Black Friday deeper into the Thanksgiving holiday. It is also more like ten brands, seeing as how subsidiary companies are also mentioned. The following retailers are all going to open on Thanksgiving, some starting as early as 6:00PM: Walmart, Target, Best Buy, Sears (and Kmart, at 6:00AM!! Yikes! Desperate much??), Macy’s, Kohl’s, J.C. Penney, The Gap (with Old Navy store opening at 9:00am frecryinoutloud).

My guess is the list is not all inclusive – greed, more than anything, runs deep in America

From Bing newsMcCain calls Kerry ‘a human wrecking ball’ on Iran negations – McCain has been quoted as saying Kerry is "a good friend of mine," but, when it comes to Iran, "this guy has been a human wrecking ball." Political insiders claim Kerry’s next move to be “twerking” with VP Biden at the White House Christmas party. Plans are also in the works to enter next years State of the Union address stark naked ….while swinging on a wrecking ball.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

News From the Internets

From MSN - Atheist 'mega-churches' take root across US, world

File this under “I don’t believe” it:
On a recent Sunday, the inaugural Sunday Assembly in Los Angeles attracted more than 400 attendees. Not limited to LA, similar gatherings are taking place in other larger cities across the US. One of the strangest things, to me anyway, is that these gatherings have been dubbed "atheist mega-churches".

“Sunday Assembly — whose motto is Live Better, Help Often, Wonder More — taps into that universe of people who left their faith but now miss the community church provided, said Phil Zuckerman, a professor of secular studies at Pitzer College in Claremont.”

At the end of the, service (???), volunteers passed cardboard boxes for donations. Why not just call a collection plate a collection plate?
From Yahoo news - White House tech chief says 'making progress' fixing Along the same vein; you really can (not!) keep your current health insurance plan, men really do mean it when they say “I’ll call you”, there really are “just two more minutes” in the game, she really will be “ready in five minutes” and women honestly think “size doesn’t matter”.

Also from Yahoo news - Bill Clinton Just Undercut Obama’s Health Plan. Former US President, Bill “The Great Explainer” Clinton, feels that the US Government should make good on President Obama’s promise that “Americans could keep their current health insurance plans if they like them”. Bravo President Clinton, it’s about time someone spoke up, because all Obama had to say about the latest let down in Obamacare was “I’m sorry”.

Are we really really sure Bill can’t be president again?

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

A Random Thought

Wow… so it’s been nearly two years since I posted anything on this blog. I was bored, crusin’ the internets and looking to be entertained. I started looking at some blogs I used to follow, the really good ones are still going strong, and somehow wound up …here.

In retrospect even calling what I was doing here a “blog” is insulting to those who do it and do it well.  I used this as a dumping ground for stuff I found funny, or at least mildly amusing. All in hopes of finding some way to make a few buck. I somehow allowed myself to believe the crap I read about people quitting there day jobs and making a living on the internet.

In the mean time, making a living got in the way. Work is work, keeping up with everything that goes on outside of work takes time and my grand idea of supplementing my income fell by the way side.

But, all things considered, maybe it’s time to revisit this whole blogging thing; As a place to deposit the odd things in daily life I find amusing. Or perhaps, as a form of therapy – to keep me from shouting obscenities out the car window. Maybe even as a creative outlet – or what passes as creativity in me anyway. I certainly don’t claim to be a writer, but at times, I can be amusing (or so I have been told). So if you have taken the time to read this, thank you! And remember to stop back. Hopefully I’ll give you a smile, or even a bit of a chuckle. Hell, I might make you laugh out loud someday!

ps… No promises that I won’t bitch about the price of oil …or Obama …or Obama care, such an easy, obvious target (ROTFLMAO) …or any thing that gets under my skin for that matter.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Things My Mother Taught Me

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION....
“Just wait `til you father gets home!”
2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING….
“You are going to get it when we get home!”
3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE…
“What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don’t talk back to me!”
4. My Mother taught me LOGIC…
“If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
5. My Mother taught me to FOLLOW THE RULES….
“When you move out you can do whatever you want, but while you’re living in this house, I make the rules.”
6.  My Mother taught me about STRENGTH and ENDURANCE… “I will lock the two of you in a room together and I won’t let you out until someone is bleeding.”
7. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE…
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”
8. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD…
“If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job.”
9. My Mother taught me HUMOR…
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
10. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT…
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
11. My Mother taught me about GENETICS…
“You’re just like your father.”
12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS…
“Do you think you were born in a barn?”
13. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE…
“When you get to be my age, you will understand.”
14. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE…
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you….Then you’ll see what it’s like!”
15. My Mother taught me about ECONOMICS…
“Turn off that light. Do you think we own the electric company?”

And of course her famous last words as I was leaving were “Make sure you've got clean underwear on... what if you get in an accident??”

add to a bit, but found here

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Home Page Links

Aussie football hates Meat Loaf… well, I’ve heard American football hates Curtis Stone
Regis takes off his shirt… American says “PUT IT BACK ON!!” …sheesh the moobs on him
Eruption spotted on Uranus… ummmm I wasn’t looking at your an… ohhhhh, the planet
That muffin didn't cost taxpayers $16 after all… The additional information showed that the muffins were actually part of a modified continental breakfast priced at $16.80 and consisting of items such as pastries, fruit, coffee, tea and juice….has the government ever heard of Panera Bread???
Michael Moore: Occupy movement "killed apathy"… but did it kill ignorance?? Hell if I know. In a side note…Big Macs will kill Michael Moore
Lindsay Lohan gets $1 million to pose nude for Playboy… ummm, ok. Will it be morbid curiosity that makes me ante up the eight bucks or so?? I mean how will she hide her SCRAM ankle bracelet??
Apple reveals it has a stunning cash reserve… $81,570,000,000… in cash. Apple then announces plans to buy Greece… Europe rejoices
Tyler: Fall not drug related... and pigs will fly ...and there will be an NBA season this year ...and ...
FAA clears sex  while sky diving… well now, there’s something to add to your bucket list
Canada changing symbol? … maple leaf to give way to a beer can
Big Banks Blink on New Card Fees… still plan to shaft the banking public by lowering interest rates on savings to an annual pop tart. The toaster will cost you $5 a month

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Noteable Net News

Amy Winehouse dead at 27 – she joins the list of celebrities who died at the age of 27: Brian Jones, co-founder of the legendary rock group The Rolling Stones. 60’s era guitar god Jimi Hendrix – ‘Scues me while I kiss the sky! Another 60’s rocker, Janis Joplin, who strangely died two and a half weeks after Hendrix, gave the dead at 27 mythos additional notoriety. Jim Morrison, The Lizard King and front man for the Doors, died two years to the day after Brian Jones. Ron “Pigpen” McKernan, one of the founding members of the Grateful Dead died of a stomach hemorrhage at the age of 27. It’s thought that the hemorrhage was brought on by years of heavy drinking. Kurt Cobain, the troubled but musically gifted front man for the grunge group Nirvana ended his own life at the age of 27. Sadly, Amy Winehouse is the 17th musician who died at the age of 27

The end of the drawn out NFL lock out of its players may be close. The players will vote on the contract proposal on Monday. Who will win -  the billionaires or the millionaires? How ever it ends the sure losers in this drawn out battle will be the NFL’s fans. Now, if we could just figure out a way to lockout the Twatlight Twilight movie series the world would be a happier place I think…

With the space shuttle program coming to an end with the landing of the Shuttle Atlantis on July 21st, NASA has announced that their next grand mission will be to send astronauts to an asteroid in less than 15 years. It might be hard to do since they are laying off about 3200 contract workers. And, to add insult to injury, they are paying $60 million to the Russians each time we want to hitch a ride to the International Space Station. Who won the great space race of the 60’s??

Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner says the US economy may have slowed during the second quarter of the year. Ummm… no shit?? I mean really? Geithner says he is looking for it to pick back up. Yeah, him and millions of other Americans

Tea Party nutcase and GOP presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann recently signed a "values pledge," – she is promising to ban pornography. Bachmann is the only candidate to sign the pledge.  Ms. Bachmann has also signed pledges that promote marriage and social conservative values. Back in June, "Fox News Sunday" host Chris Wallace asked Bachmann whether she was "a flake." While I’m not a huge fan of Fox news, I think he may be on to something. Just last week, announcer for CBS’ Late Show With David Letterman, Alan Kalter, announced his own bid for the presidency on a pro-pornography platform. Hell, he’s less of a nutcase then Bachmann.

Steelers' Hines Ward arrested on DUI charge – Steeler’s wide receiver, former Super Bowl MVP and reigning "Dancing With the Stars" champ was booked in Georgia on a DUI charge. I guess that “Mirror Ball” trophy makes a man do crazy things…